Okay, rant over. Let's have some fun with this, courtesy of 1950's Bar Guide, Published by TRUE, The Men's Magazine. One may or may not approve, but this cocktail doesn't care!
We firmly believe that drinking at home, in moderation, is the best way to stay out of trouble (and, if you plan to drink away from home, I have one word: UBER). However, if you're wondering whether or not you might be blotto (hint: you are), Bar Guide has some guidelines for determining your status:
Drink in moderation, don't drive and make sure you have restricted mode turned off, so you don't miss any of our episodes! :D